Dyspareunia: what it means, why sex is painful every time, and how it’s treated

In this article

1. What dyspareunia means
2. Types of dyspareunia
3. Why sex can be painful every time
4. How dyspareunia is diagnosed
5. Treatment options
6. Myths and facts
7. A quick self-check
8. When to get help

Pain during sex is one of the most common reasons women seek help, and one of the most under-discussed. Many women believe they simply have to put up with it. You do not.

What dyspareunia means

Dyspareunia is persistent or recurring pain with sexual activity. It is a symptom, not a diagnosis, so the key is finding the cause.

Types of dyspareunia

• Superficial (entry) pain: felt at the opening of the vagina.
• Deep pain: felt deeper in the pelvis, often with thrusting.
• Lifelong or acquired: present from the start, or starting after a period of comfortable sex.

Why sex can be painful every time

Physical causes

• Vaginal dryness (see vaginal dryness causes)
• Infections and skin conditions
• Hormonal changes after childbirth, while breastfeeding or around menopause
• Endometriosis, ovarian cysts or other pelvic conditions
• Scarring after birth or surgery

Muscle and anxiety factors

• Pelvic floor tension
• Vaginismus: involuntary tightening
• Fear of pain, which causes bracing (see fear of penetration)

Relationship and arousal factors

• Not enough time for arousal
• Stress, pressure or conflict

How dyspareunia is diagnosed

A gynaecologist will ask about where and when you feel pain, and examine gently to check for infection, skin conditions or pelvic causes. You can ask for a female doctor and to stop at any time.

Treatment options

1. Treat the physical cause with your doctor.
2. Lubricants and moisturisers for dryness.
3. Pelvic floor relaxation and physiotherapy.
4. Sex therapy to reduce fear, rebuild arousal and gradually reintroduce comfortable touch.
5. Couples work so your partner understands and supports the pace.

See our full overview of painful sex in women and our painful intercourse support.

Myths and facts

• Myth: Pain during sex is normal for women. Fact: Pain is a signal that something needs attention.
• Myth: It is ‘just in your head’. Fact: Dyspareunia has real physical and muscle components, often alongside anxiety.
• Myth: You should keep having sex to get used to it. Fact: Continuing through pain usually makes it worse.
• Myth: Nothing can be done. Fact: Most women improve with the right combination of care.

A quick self-check

• Where do I feel pain: at the entrance or deeper inside?
• Does it happen every time or only sometimes?
• Did it start after childbirth, an infection or a life change?
• Do I feel dry or tense during sex?
• Have I had a gynaecological check?

These details help your doctor and sexologist identify the cause quickly.

When to get help

If sex has been painful more than a few times, please get a medical check and consider our free confidential assessment. You can choose a female expert.

Frequently asked questions

This article is for general education and is not a substitute for personal medical advice. If you have sudden symptoms, pain, bleeding or thoughts of self-harm, please contact a doctor or local emergency services.