Low sex drive in men: why it happens and how to get your desire back

In this article

1. Signs of low libido in men
2. Psychological causes
3. Relationship causes
4. Lifestyle causes
5. Physical causes
6. What helps
7. Myths and facts
8. A quick self-check
9. When to get help

There is a myth that men always want sex. In reality, many men go through periods of low desire, and many wives are the ones asking for more. Low sex drive in men is common, understandable and treatable.

Signs of low libido in men

• Rarely thinking about or wanting sex
• Not initiating, or avoiding intimacy
• Feeling relief when sex does not happen
• Less interest in masturbation as well
• Partner feeling rejected

Psychological causes

• Stress and burnout from work or finances
• Low mood, depression or anxiety
• Performance anxiety: some men avoid sex because they fear erection or ejaculation problems. See sexual anxiety in men.
• Body-image worries

Relationship causes

• Ongoing conflict or resentment
• Feeling criticised or unappreciated
• Loss of attraction or emotional distance
• Mismatched desire cycles

Lifestyle causes

• Poor sleep and long hours
• Alcohol and smoking
• Lack of exercise and weight gain
• Heavy porn use, which can reduce interest in partnered sex (see porn and sexual expectations)

Physical causes

• Low testosterone
• Diabetes, thyroid problems, obesity
• Some medicines, including some antidepressants and BP medicines
• Chronic illness or pain

A doctor can arrange simple blood tests. Never stop a prescribed medicine without medical advice.

What helps

1. Get a health check to rule out physical causes.
2. Address stress and sleep.
3. Move your body regularly.
4. Talk with your partner honestly, without blame.
5. Work on anxiety or mood with a professional.
6. Rebuild pressure-free intimacy through touch and time together.
7. See a sexologist for a tailored plan. Learn about low libido support for men.

Myths and facts

• Myth: Men always want sex. Fact: Men’s desire varies just like women’s.
• Myth: Low libido always means low testosterone. Fact: Stress, mood and relationship factors are more common causes.
• Myth: It is a sign of weakness. Fact: It is a common health and life issue that deserves care, not shame.
• Myth: Supplements will fix it. Fact: Unregulated products can be risky; find the real cause first.

A quick self-check

• Am I under more stress or sleeping less than usual?
• Has my mood been low for weeks?
• Am I avoiding sex because of performance worries?
• Has porn replaced partnered intimacy?
• When did I last have a health check?

Your answers help identify whether the main cause is physical, emotional, relational or a mix.

When to get help

If low desire has lasted months or is affecting your relationship, start our free confidential assessment.

Frequently asked questions

This article is for general education and is not a substitute for personal medical advice. If you have sudden symptoms, pain, bleeding or thoughts of self-harm, please contact a doctor or local emergency services.